The Hardest Pill

Hello dear readers, long time no see, I know its me who went radio silent but I am back !

You see, growing up in an Asian country had its own ups and downs. We boast of our rich cultural heritage and traditions often to shadow the not so glorious parts of our being.

Please prepare yourself for a challenging truth: our parents.

While it's true that we love, respect, and cherish our parents, many of us experienced less than ideal upbringings due to their actions, whether directly or indirectly. Consider this: some of us were born out of obligation, some from ignorance, some by accident, and only a few from love. This discussion is about the unfortunate circumstances of the first few categories, which many may find relatable.

From birth, we were assigned roles to fulfill unachieved dreams and unfinished tasks, becoming the pillars for structures we did not create. We became projects for our parents. Reflect on how many of your personal aspirations received their support. Some of us were compelled to pursue music, dance, sports, or other activities simply because our parents missed those opportunities, regardless of our interest or aptitude. Every accomplishment became a trophy for them to display. We embodied their aspirations, and as soon as we were capable of earning, it became our duty to support them, adhering to the age-old tradition of filial piety. Ultimately, we became their retirement plan, their greatest investment. Why else would they push us into pursuits we did not desire? The more successful the investment, the greater the return.

Most troubling of all, we were conditioned to express gratitude for these hardships, endured daily under the guise of discipline. Was it not their legal responsibility to provide for us? Access to food, water, clothing, shelter, and education are basic human rights, which they are legally obligated to provide for the children they chose to bring into the world. It was not as if we pleaded to be born; it was their decision. Many had children because society conditioned them to do so, and a significant number were unprepared for parenthood. As a result, we endured immense pain that the world ignored and society forbade us to discuss, as parents are often revered as infallible.

Was this blog intended solely to criticize our parents, whom many in this comment section might defend by saying they "did not know better" or "faced their own hardships"? Certainly not. While there is no benefit in lamenting past events, it is crucial to understand the reasons behind them. The challenges and, often, the abuse they inflicted were sometimes unintentional, but at other times quite deliberate. The purpose of this post is to provoke a deeper reflection among my readers, encouraging them to confront and acknowledge these issues. Parental trauma can have significant and lasting effects on an individual, and when ignored, it can lead to serious psychosomatic manifestations such as Type 2 Diabetes, PCOS, anxiety disorders, heart issues, and chronic stress syndrome.

Dear reader, what is the purpose of this post? It represents the initial step towards healing: acknowledging the negative experiences we have encountered. This is followed by a process of grieving, during which we confront emotions such as anger, resentment, betrayal, sorrow, helplessness, and ultimately reach acceptance. It involves extending unreserved kindness, love, and compassion towards ourselves while working to heal this core wound and find inner peace, which I believe all my readers deserve. It is important to note that this journey will be lengthy and, at times, quite daunting. Therefore, as I always recommend, seek assistance from a nearby RCI-registered or licensed therapist. I wish you the very best of luck on your healing journey.

Peace.